I held on as tightly as you held onto me

** watch in HD full screen. you can thank me later. **


There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills...
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust...
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home...

Cause, I built a home
for you
for me

Until it disappeared
from me
from you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...

Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it's knees

By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me...

Cause, I built a home
for you
for me

Until it disappeared
from me
from you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...



* This video was created by Colin Rich and almost had my eyes leaking tears. As much as I have struggled living in this city that feels make believe, I dont know exactly what it is but there is something incredible about it. Mr. Rich has done an excellent job of capturing what exactly that is.

i need an escape

I think I need to go somewhere...escape a while. See if I even miss this place. I don't really think it misses me when I'm gone. And that's ok. I just don't/can't/won't put my heart into anything/anyone that doesn't return at least a little bit of the same regard. I find her a bit mundane and almost boring filled with seekers. bleh... I want out and open to suggestions!

People always say, and I am no exception, that they never want to get married, be tied down, etc etc... but what I think the real problem is that we are too scared of missing out (on what, we're not so sure), being held back, and the obvious choice, risk the devastation that is heartbreak.

At the end of the day, isn't that part of what life is about? Sharing our experiences with another? Learning to think of someone else besides ourselves? Getting your heart ripped out of your chest, getting/learning to build it/yourself strong again on your own only to mend it again when it gets ripped out the next time part...

Honestly, is there anything better/more awful than loving someone so much that they have the power to do such wonderful/horrible things and all we can do is give as good as we want in return and hope/trust that they won't disappoint.