i need an escape

I think I need to go somewhere...escape a while. See if I even miss this place. I don't really think it misses me when I'm gone. And that's ok. I just don't/can't/won't put my heart into anything/anyone that doesn't return at least a little bit of the same regard. I find her a bit mundane and almost boring filled with seekers. bleh... I want out and open to suggestions!

People always say, and I am no exception, that they never want to get married, be tied down, etc etc... but what I think the real problem is that we are too scared of missing out (on what, we're not so sure), being held back, and the obvious choice, risk the devastation that is heartbreak.

At the end of the day, isn't that part of what life is about? Sharing our experiences with another? Learning to think of someone else besides ourselves? Getting your heart ripped out of your chest, getting/learning to build it/yourself strong again on your own only to mend it again when it gets ripped out the next time part...

Honestly, is there anything better/more awful than loving someone so much that they have the power to do such wonderful/horrible things and all we can do is give as good as we want in return and hope/trust that they won't disappoint.