i found blood and i saw stars. all in the backseat of your car...

I have been a little swamped/overwhelmed these days which also induces a self inflicted hibernating mode I kind of get inhaled into...

There are three possible reasons circulating in my brain as to the cause:

1. It gets dark at like 4:30 pm and I am experiencing what is called a "Vitamin D deficiency"

cure: I should probably start taking my vitamins again.

Photo by Aaron Feaver

2. I am getting older and real life problems can't be pawned or pushed to the side with such ease and carelessness as in such youthful previous years of yore.

cure: deal with it.

3. Mercury Retrograde.

cure: Wait it out.

I like the third option... Its so much easier to blame everything on MERCURY RETROGRADE. I will wait it out and in the process I can just blame. I don't like to blame people for any disfunction and I have huge guilt whenever I notice any hints that my brain begins to steer that way, but eff it! It's Mercury's fault and 3 times a year this planet becomes a little bitch and in the process I have a whipping boy who's feelings can't get hurt. It's lose-win-win!

Anyways, I am a little bit in and out and have been going to sleep around 8 or 9pm only to wake up at 3am unable to sleep! It's the pits and it will pass... eventually. I am constantly thinking though.

Thinking of simplicity. Of the way people are where i am from and how bored I used to be, it was so damned quiet..but how I ache for that sameness sometimes. But, I always knew who I was talking to when I spoke to someone... and never felt like I was inconveniencing people like I do out here...

Although it seems *infeasible for the type of person I am at this stage of my life... (it's more for the ready to settle down-phase). This town just drains / exhausts me sometimes.

Or maybe it's my age, I have never lived anywhere else at this age and I think LA is unlike so many other places with a valid normalcy of humanity, so, in turn I have chosen to blame this city ... kind of like I chose to blame Mercury... sorry guys...

Actually it's my fault. I have just had a couple rotten-apple-encounters-that-spoil-the-entire-bushel situations this past year...

I have met / know the most incredible personalities and thank my lucky stars everyday to be so fortunate... However, Mercury being a bitch gives me a green light today to vent!

I think I just need a vacation or commit some folks to Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind clinic... do they have those in Los Angeles? What search word should one use on



*this is a word... i googled it

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